Darren Marsh

7 posts, 7 days! Photo Bonanza - I have tried to find 10 of the best pictures of some of the Lowlands Dors. Only those that have been bothered to blog themselves are included as to be honest I am pretty sure they are the only ones who read this anyway. I have tried to pick pictures where possible which are not the conventional or obvious ones. The holiday pics have obviously taken a bit of a battering and are included but I have tried to find ones that haven't necessarily made their way onto facebook. Hope you enjoy and it brings back some interesting memories. The topics that have been chosen are:

1) Oldest - This section goes to the oldest photo I have on my computer of this person. I lost a lot of my old photos when I changed computers a while back but I have done my best to find some amusing ones even if they are not the oldest.

2) Random Face - A lot of our bent involves pulling ridiculous facial expressions, some intended, some not, I have a feeling I am going to have trouble picking one for Lawrence, which one to go for?!

3) Lowlands - As much of our bent happens dahn tahn tennis club, I have decided to pick a random picture of the person at Lowlands, I initially tried to find a picture showing complete disregard for the club but can you believe it I ran out!

4) Women - Not much of our bent involves the fairer sex, but on the odd occasion they do provide some talking points, here is a chance to see the dors with their girls whether they wanted to be in the picture with them or not.

5) Gay - If there was going to be a section on women it had to be followed by gayness, a major theme in our bent, there certainly wasn't a shortage of material to choose from.

6) Thug - Initially started in Granny C a few years ago, this thuggish Millwall behaviour has now become commonplace and hence warrants a place on this blog.

7) Dancing - Some of us Dors are known for our dancing more than others, but there has been a time when all of us have been caught on camera throwing a few shapes every now and again.

8) 1000 Words - It is often said that a picture says a thousand words, this section is dedicated to that, suggest your own caption for the picture!!

9) Random - As the title suggests, completely random, whether it be another funny face or fun with an inanimate object.

10) Drunk/Alcoholic - Where would our bent be without copious amounts of alcohol, this section is dedicated to either the most pissed picture I have of you, you showing true hardcore drinking skills or looking like a true alcoholic.

So where to kick off - All names in the hat and the first one out is the one and only Darren Marsh!!!

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Oldest - Who can forget Dazzy's afro, bring it back Daz! This picture was taken at my 18th in a horrendous trip to Sound in London. Also in this picture is the ever excitable Gary. Can you believe we got in anywhere at that age...even with ID?

Face - Darren pulls some fantastic faces but one face that appears time and time again is the 'growl' my first sight of the 'growl' appeared when the boys came up for a trip to the North East and therefore makes it on to the blog.

Lowlands - What better way to show your dominance at the club than to sprawl yourself provocatively over the pool table and if that isn't enough, why not dress as an old man as you do it. Women - At first I thought this could be a tricky section to fill for Dazzy, until recently where Daz has been sharing much bent with girls from uni. Some other pictures that were considered were Dazzy's girls sporting their 'we heart Daz' shirts, a hideous girl from Gran Canaria that was extremely pissed giving him a hug, but in the end I went for the Magaluf rep who persuaded Daz into the bar with the promise of a 'fur burger'!

Gay - This section had far too many to choose from, with potential contenders of J onlooking as Daz sprawled out in the jacuzzi, or Gary and J holding Dazzy down raping him on holiday. In the end I went for a slightly more subtle picture of Darren enjoying Gary's wandering hands. How sweet.

Thug - Only one place to look for thuggish pictures in my photo albums...Gran Canaria. Daz shows in this picture why he is truly Millwall and truly British! Dancing - Daz is arguably one of the best movers of the group, seductively luring in both men and women alike, a bit of a radom find but Daz is definitely dancing and also pulls a cracker of a face, for anyone wondering this was in the middle of a random bar in Middlesbrough.

1000 Words - Again there was such a variety of photos to choose from but wanted to try and find something a little different. This is a group photo from back in 2006. Everyone decided to touch Daz... Captions please.

Random - This has got to be one of the most random pictures I have managed to find for anyone, shoot back to Magaluf 2005 setting the scene. Steven Gridley's mum (J's ex fiances mother) bought Steven a multi pack of condoms which was presented to him the night before holiday. We got our hands on them, blew them up an filled them full of water (and other fluids) here J presents a water filled sheath to Darren, who decided the best thing to do is...lick it?!?!

Drunk - As I am sure everyone who knows Darren is aware, he never gets drunk. Dazzy like to have impromptu sessions where he goes completely overboard on a random night when others may not even be drinking (a recent Monday comes to mind) where double, treble and quadruple shots will be downed without complaint. Actually finding anyone with a camera at these times can be tough. This is not the best picture, however is a photo of Daz downing a shot carry on the Dazzy Downing!

Tune in tomorrow for some more random pictures of another Dor. Who will it be??? In the words of the Lotto 'It could be you'...

Week of Blogging

After a few days of preparation I have got my latest blogging topic sorted. Starting from tomorrow the aim is to have a post a day. 7 days, 7 different posts all on the same theme, you guys will get the gist. Tune in tomorrow for the first installment, and let's have lots of comments or i'll be pissed to have wasted all my time.

AP

Outpatients

I have been slacking off with my blogging recently, which I am a bit disappointed about. I am still currently without the internet as between BT and Sky I have been well and truly fucked over. Anyway I should be back up and running by the time I return from the Arsenal game! As the internet keeps me up to date with everything I need and don’t need to know and I couldn’t face either the hospital or library internet facilities I purchased a pay as you go internet dongle. I was actually quite impressed, I haven’t been downloading anything but just for general surfing it seems to be good value. It is a tad slow though so roll on Tuesday!

I am on my 5th of 7 placements now and just passed my half way assessment. This has been my favourite so far, in my view this is proper physio and is the reason I took on the course in the first place. It isn’t easy and is quite challenging which keeps me focussed but the banter with patients and staff is much better. The majority of my placements have been with the elderly and as previous posts have suggested although some of them are quite nice and I don’t really mind the old they poo, wee, scratch, bite, spit and smell a lot which puts you off them after a while. The other placement was on paediatrics which speaks for itself. This placement is an outpatient service, so would be the physio you see if you go to your docs complaining of a bad, neck, arm, shoulder, back, knee etc. There are also quite a few insurance referrals which I will come on to later. Generally I am seeing about 8 patients a day on average and getting left to do it on my own, which although scary at first I love. Anyway fingers crossed I pass the placement before coming on to a neuro placement in 2 weeks! Two funny stories I have had so far include: a gentleman arriving with shoulder pain, unable to lift his arm further than a few degrees forward or to the side (he was also suing his employer as he had fallen at work causing the injury), on my questioning at the beginning I asked whether he had received any previous shoulder injuries and whether he could normally move his arm well. He then raised his arm all the way above his head saying ‘Na mate before I fell I could get it all the way up here!!!’ What a knob, I obviously reported him and told him to leave and now his employers are in a legal case against him…brilliant!

Secondly another man came in complaining of an irritable neck, I asked if he had any other injuries or problems or anything else that was irritating him at the moment he replied with ‘Yes, my boss at work is very irritating, she is a complete fucking BITCH’ now when I say replied with he shouted this, so much so that the patient next door complained and two other physios came in to see what I had done to the patient for him to be shouting obscenities in my cubical.

They seem to like me a bit more at work as well after the Arsenal ticket incident which is good, for those that don’t know I managed to buy myself and two of my friends Arsenal Champions League tickets whilst I was meant to be working, I got caught and disciplined and warned of my future conduct but got the tickets so GET IN!!!

I also plead that for anyone who reads this, please comment and please update your own blogs as reading your posts are the only bent I get whilst I am all the way up here.

Library Blog Update

Only a short one as I currently have no Internet due to a BT fuck up which will end up costing me quite a bit of money – Brilliant!! Anyway I am now back to work and I can honestly say it is not quite as much fun as the last two weeks which were certainly eventful! I am also now 4 days sober so congratulations will be welcomed, unfortunately I fear I may fall off the wagon on Friday but we will wait and see, I tested myself yesterday by not only watching football but eating a curry as well and passed with flying colours.

As for the football why does Howard Webb insist on fucking us over one way or another, Carling cup final, sends off 3 players ruining a good game, one of those was the wrong player completely (Adebayor sent off instead of Eboue, for punching a Chelsea player) arguably Ade is more of a threat than eBOOue! An apology was never publicly made. In the first Arsenal v Liverpool game this season he sent off Ade again!!! This time for protecting the ball...I am yet to find someone who thinks this is a sending off but he still claims it was. This time in the return fixture we were poor for the majority of the game (which was an incredible game, with non-stop flowing football) and yet with this non-stop flowing football he somehow came up with 5 minutes yes 5!!!! Minutes of injury time. At first I thought I was sat on my sofa being extremely biased due to the fact I have a loathing for the bald headed twit (who is rated as England’s finest referee) however no less than 3 texts from non Arsenal supporting friends asked me where did those 5 minutes from! Admittedly Liverpool scored earlier than 5 minutes into it, but even so it is irrelevant the pressure that must be felt by a weak inexperienced defence knowing they have to last 5 minutes as opposed to 2 or 3 must be incredible and I do blame Webb partly for our draw. I also blame several other people for our draw, mainly certain players who I feel are not up to scratch. I rarely ever comment on Arsenal players in a negative way as I feel it is wrong, unfair and many do end up playing well and having good careers but some are really really getting on my tits and a blog post may be looming of some of these getting a telling off, we will see....
Anyway must dash I am next to a smelly man with a funny beard and I want some dinner and to try and catch a few rays before the sun goes down and hit the revision.

Up the Arse!

Fantastic result, great match, and great way to sail through to a Champions League semi final. It did feel slightly strange last night though, maybe this was due to having an extremely tough match in the round before which we only just scraped through but this year's competition certainly has a completely different feel to it from the last time we reached this stage. Last time (when we reached the final) we had a ridiculously tough game against Real and passed with flying colours, also a match we were expected to lose against Juve and again played incredibly. These were followed up by Villareal where everyone expected us to win, which we did by the skin of our teeth, including a missed last minute penalty by chief bottler Juan Roman Riquelme. In comparison this year I don't think anyone really knew what to expect against a good Roma side and then yesterday with the advantage of already securing an away goal the game never really felt in doubt. I can imagine the nerves were far greater in Portugal where Man U scored a wonder goal to reach the semis. I do honestly believe now at this stage in the competition anyone can win it. I am sure lots of people will beg to differ and as we are underdogs....masssshive underdogshh in theory we are less likely than the others however, over the last few seasons we have gone out in ridiculous fashion to Liverpool last year, lost to an extremely jammy header against PSV in a match we dominated and came 10 minutes away from beating Barcelona in a final! Arsenal are typical big game players, results are there to see this season with victories against Utd and Chelsea and a draw against Liverpool we could easily overturn Utd as could they with us by dominating our current makeshift defence. In the other tie Barcelona have been awesome breaking records left, right and centre in Spain at the moment and have arguably the best attack in the world, however, they haven't come up against an English team this year and therefore does anyone know how good they actually are? Chelsea are another team like us who can have very good days and very bad days, with Guus in charge with mountains of Champions League experience they have a great shot. Interestingly I feel the final will be one of two outcomes...either it will be a repeat of the Barcelona v Arsenal final of a few seasons ago or it will be a rematch of the Man U v Chelsea final last year, both should result in an awesome game with lots of rivalries...Henry v Arsenal, Fabregas v Barce, Toure v Toure and in the other game the whole Drogba sending off from last year, Ronaldo v Cole and who is the better captain Terry or Ferdinand (even though he's not really their captain).

On a separate note those who read J's recent blog will have heard about his unhealthy behaviour yesterday (multiple beers, burgers, shit loads of sweets topped off with a kebab) and how he is planning on a diet. Yesterday with kebab in hand walking home from the game J turned to me and said this with a very depressed look on his face:

'Euurghh I am going to have to go back to the diet tomorrow, just wine and vodka for me' we both laughed extremely hard about this for quite some time you can imagine all the women with their diet books cutting out the carbs and fat and sticking to a pure Vodka and Wine diet. Maybe J this should be your next book to write... 'Dr Sparks' wine and vodka diet. Lose 5st in just 2 weeks and get pissed doing so!'

Bent Bent and more Bent

It would be all to easy to do a whole blog on last nights madness but I will resist, and leave it at nice one Godders! Since my last post bent has been at an all time high, barely a night has been missed and each day that passes results in even more weird and wacky tales! Who would have thought Dazzy would be downing double Camparis, and quad JDs? Who would have thought that we would be accused of being Scousers by some retarded Chelsea supporters who could only muster Come on Chels surrounded by expletives? Who would have thought that 11 heads could be in the same place at the same time to soak up Lowlands B? Anyway bent does not look like ceasing and as J has just said in his blog we are off to the Arsenal today and I am praying its going to be a good day! Tomorrow is traditional Thursday B, could be interesting if Hilton brings her friend down and then Friday and Saturday will involve trips to London and more football.

Amazingly with all the stuff that has happened I am not really in a blogging mood so will leave it at that for now and hopefully do a full and thorough blog shortly.

Feeling the strain!

Where on earth do I start???? Since my last blog post such a ridiculous amount has happened and luckily the boys have been back in force updating their blogs which saves me repeating the same stories.

As much as I am absolutely loving every minute of this Easter so far I am feeling the strain soooo much and longing to go back to working on placements so I can get a bit of a rest! As mentioned by both J and Daz the drinking recently has been atrocious. You would have thought I would have learnt from treating patients with many buggered up livers on my last placement and yet, excluding holidays this has probably been the most ridiculously unhealthy week (so far) I have had.

As an example my 'quiet' nights so far have been a drinking session that started at 3 in the RE bar and finished in a lock in at the same place and a night out in London to watch the football where we ended up drinking multiple pitchers of lager and ended up in tiger tiger! My body is seriously telling me to stop but my head and heart don't at present agree.

Without repeating too much of what has already been blogged a few of my fave tid bits from the last few days have been :

J stating that 'this is like a fairytale all these giants, and dwarfes and willow trees'.

Chopper being a complete and utter sexual predator. Explained beautifully by the birthday girl who came up and said to me 'Please stop him Alex he has already violated my best friend, now he is after my cousin' Played Lawrence!

Daz and I dancing to Lady Gaga in tiger tiger getting some extremely odd looks.

Random wrestling culminating in J being Walls of Jerichoed in the middle of Lowlands Road.

Tomas' random tales of protests he had attended including bendy battons for maximum impact.

Entering tiger tiger wearing an Arsenal shirt and Tom's suit jacket over the top just to make me look super cool and prevent me from getting it on with either of Tom or Gary's lady friends.

Adebayor's incredible equaliser followed by catching a glimpse of Porto's equaliser on another screen.

There are so many more but I will save them for another post. At the moment we are in a dilemma of what to do tonight, unfortunately the fact that some people who would like our company can't stand the sight of eachother makes keeping both of them happy all the more difficult. Oh well I'm off for a pint!