Doctors

Slightly different post today as the topic of the day is doctors and I'll tell you for why. As I have already mentioned in these posts the majority of my neighbours in this accommodation are medics all training up to be GPs. Unfortunately their social skills have a lot to be desired and most of my chirpy conversation starter's in the kitchen are normally followed by grunts, scowls and even completely ignored, and those that do actually speak I wish hadn't bothered.

My experience with doctors has also included reading their notes whilst checking up on my patient's histories and as you might expect if you have ever looked at doctor's notes they are barely legible and the writing is often such a mess you can't work anything out. That was my job for yesterday morning...reading through piles of notes and trying to decipher them and sad as it may be when you actually make out award it does give you a satisfying feeling afterwards also strangely enough it is easier to read if you pick the paper up and hold it as if you were holding a tray so you are looking at it from a very acute angle, don't ask me why but I found it helped.

When the notes have been deciphered I then had to try and work out what it all meant, most of the notes included lots of abbreviations which under new NHS policy is not allowed, I got told off for writing ROM (Range of Movement) in my notes earlier when it was quite clear what it meant but rules are rules. Anyway as these notes are old the abbreviations were still there so I had to work out what they meant, most of them I managed with quite well but some were still a mystery to me so I went on a mission to find out what they all meant including asking my supervisor and some doctors. More about that in a bit.

Last night was the Arsenal game so I was also on a mission to not only find out about my abbreviations but also to find the game, dressed to impress in my new Arsenal shirt I wandered aimlessly into town aiming to try each old man pub en route for someone with Sultana. Two blokes then shouted me over from the other side of the street who were also looking for the game and had seen my Arsenal shirt so thought I might know, with my army of new friends we marched on and found the game. To my surprise they were as you might have guessed..trainee doctors that could actually communicate and socialise and drink!! I continued to ask about my abbreviations problem and was quite shocked with the results (which when I read the notes through again today actually made sense and were confirmed to me by my supervisor).

The abbreviations were as follows written in actual patients notes that the patient and any other relevant medical profession can read:

NFL - Normal for Lincoln

WOT - Waste of time

GOK - (not the gay fashion designer) God only knows

SIG - Stupid Ignorant Git

OJA - Only just alive

CTB - Constantly Talks Bull

Apparently one Doctor actually got struck off for writing 'Pain in the bum' in the patient's notes they hadn't even bothered to write it abbreviated. How they got away with this stuff is quite incredible. There are also lots of other abbreviations and I would like to find out more, maybe Dr Dave could help.

Anyway we continued to drink whilst watching the football and I kept forcing rounds upon the doctors and by the end of the game we had got through 6 pints. Both Dr's I were with were absolutely slaughtered, could barely walk, slurring their words it was hilarious. I walked with them back to the accommodation and they went to bed. I bumped into one of them again today, he had called in sick to work and the other had been sick all of last night... brilliant!!!

Now just before any sort of backlash, I think Dr's are brilliant and if I was clever enough it would be awesome to be a Dr, they are a funny breed of people though!