Freda, Marjorie, Edna, Edith…Emily?

Well as you know I’m back out on placement and have been put in a community rehab placement in Boston. Shit place, shit placement. It basically involves dealing with old people going by the name of Mavis and Fred with no bladder or bowel function, flemmy coughs and various diseases and conditions. My role as a physio is to assess them for moving and handling and get them back to as much independence as possible. This placement is extremely similar to my very first one which was in a hospital ward but that was good as it involved the hustle and bustle of a hospital (meaning you could get lost and disappear for a while) as well as getting to speak to different physios,, doctors, nurses etc. This is not like that, I have to follow around the one physio like a puppy I don’t even get to escape at lunch, I have to drive around with him sit with him its quite demoralising and ridiculously easy in the community as you can get away with seeing so few patients its daft. We saw 2 today in a whole day!!! Baring in mind we only spent about 20-30mins with each patient the whole rest of the day was meetings and paperwork, it is the type of work I loathe, give me a busy stressful day of treating any day! I was at a different care home today so I thought it might at least be interesting to see a new place , it started by a tour where the guy took me around showing me fire escapes which then turned into the most stupid tour in the world….’this is the toilet’…no shit Sherlock I would never have guessed that the little black guy on the door with the word TOILET above would have meant it was a lavatory, closely followed by ‘this is the store’ and the best of the lot…’this is the lift, to get it to open you have to press this button’, I honestly couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

Nurses – Fat, rude, unhealthy. This has been my experience of nurses so far in my last 3 placements, all have been hideously obese and escaped for a fag break so often they are barely there. Today one of them boxed me in (as I was trying to escape to come home) and she was on her break I asked her to move her car she told me I was the same as ‘all the bloody other students, always causing a fuss’…fat disgusting ogre! It did get better today though as a student nurse appeared through the door and she was quite fit, slim, friendly and called Emily. I went and wiggled my way over to her on my tea break and asked her all the normal bullshit, anything to avoid my supervisor for 10minutes. It ended with her saying that if I didn’t have anyone to go out with on Saturday night I should give her a call…..Can you believe it!!!! I hadn’t even delivered a Dizzee Rascal verse to her or thrusted my hips and she gave me her number! I did think for a while that my looks must be maturing with age or that I look good in the standard NHS cotton trousers but I soon came to realise that compared to the average chav webbed feet men that live in Boston maybe even I wasn’t a bad prospect for a young attractive nurse. Unfortunately for her I am not staying around here at weekends so I will have to take her up on that offer another time.

Finally I too will try and update my blog more regularly as let’s be honest I have nothing better to do when I come home apart from watch movies in my room and drink cans of Fosters. As for movies, last night I downloaded and watched Frost/Nixon this is not an area of history I confess to knowing much about but I must say I enjoyed it thoroughly tonight is the football followed by 24 end of season 5 and then latest Tarantino film Death Proof. Update on whether it was any good tomorrow!